Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
