I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
