4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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