Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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