Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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