everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
