Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize