Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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