Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize