and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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