It's just like the Real World with babies
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
