dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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