Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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