That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
