I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
