Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
this is an emotional support booty call
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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