Can Purell be used as lube?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
