My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
