Me. At least after what I've been through.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
