One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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