I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
