Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
