I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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