I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
