Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
