Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
