I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I could fuck to npr.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
