My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
