No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i now understand why vodka
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
