Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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