So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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