well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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