i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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