i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
