i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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