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the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
