Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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