Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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