FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize