Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
How naked do you want me to be?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize