Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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