I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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