do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
