He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
