____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
