you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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