I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
