You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
