Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
