I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize