i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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