I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
