I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
