I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
