My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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