shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
