I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize