i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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