Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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