wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
