so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
