and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
