i just had sex bonerless
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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