Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
