So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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