So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
