please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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